On December 21st, I conducted my last group therapy for the " Breast Cancer Group" and the Multidiagnosis Cancer Group.  During both group sessions, I had the opportunity to express my gratitude to patients present that night (and in my heart to all patients who no longer attend, and to those who have died),  for allowing me to be a part of their lives. I stated how being the Director of the EBCSG, facilitating patient groups, and visiting patients in their homes for the past 10 years has been an extraordinary experience for which I ammost grateful.  In my parting letter, I wish to thank those who have given of their time, talent, or assets to the EBCSG. I would like to name each of you (you know who you are) but limited space prevents me fromdoing so.  Each of you who have served as Board Members or Advisory Members, please accept my sincere gratitude. I am fortunate to have a husband Dan, my soul mate, lifelong partner, and best friend. Due to his ongoing support, and the encouragement of our two adult sons Eric and Carl I express gratitude for being understanding when house calls to the dying came during " family time.  Dan, Eric, and Carl, thank you for supporting to give to others in need. A few parting reflections are in order. Over the years, people have often asked me " How can you do this work, week after week,  month after month, year after year?  Is it not depressing?.  I shall answer these questions below.

     Some of you know that I was not expected to survive a terminal childhood illness as a child in Norway. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, my mentor for years, told me " Stop feeling guilty that you survived. You have work to do on this earth. Give to others what the doctors and nurses did not know how to give you when you were in the sanatorium. Be with those who are ill, give them hope, give them the gift of love. For those patients who are dying, your vocation is to give of yourself, be with them at their bedside.  I have witnessed over the years that within a cohesive cancer group, numerous " curative factors„ (Yalom, 1995) are essential elements.  in a therapeutic group experience.

     Depression, fear of the unknown, fear of becoming a burden, and fear of losing dignity are common concerns.  Living with a cancer diagnosis can be a lonely and isolating experience. Within the group context hope is instilled that patients are not alone. Altruismis experienced by patients fortunate to be in remission. These patients encourage newly diagnosed patients to undergo an arduous treatment protocol necessary for treatment, be it surgery, chemotherapy, molecular targeted therapy, radiation, or hormonal therapy. It has been a meaningful experience to help facilitate groups in which patients identify with each other's hardships and share their deepest concerns. As they begin to experience the love shared in the group, patients accept one another. As new patients begin to trust, deep sharing evolves, and meaningful relationships develop.

     It has been a privilege to facilitate this group process over the years. Another reason why I have committed myself to this work lies in the existential factors inherent in facilitating cancer groups.  When diagnosed with a serious disease, patients recognize that life is at times unfair and unjust.  Being diagnosed with cancer gives an individual the opportunity to recognize that ultimately there is no escape from some of life's pain or from death. Facing the basic issues of life and death, cancer patients become interested in the most profound issues that human beings encounter. In the group context, patients are encouraged to take ultimate responsibility for the way they live their lives. The existential approach posits that the human beings paramount struggle is with the ultimate concerns of existence: death, isolation, freedomand meaninglessness. (Frankl, 1959).

     In conclusion, I want to thank the patients in remission who have given of themselves week after week to be of support to those currently experiencing the fear inherent in a new diagnosis or the reality of a recurrence with metastasis to bone, vital organ, or brain. The cohesiveness of the group, the genuine compassion for their fellow patient, prompts them to give of themselves in love for one another. " There is a subtle benefit inherent in these altruistic acts. When we have transcended ourselves, when we have forgotten ourselves and become absorbed in someone outside ourselves, the group implicitly teaches its members that altruistic lesson and provides a new perspective.„ (Yalom, 1995).

     This brings me to the ultimate answer as to the reason I gave 10 years to the East Bay Cancer Support Group, and prior to that 10 years to the Baltimore Cancer Support Group in Maryland.  Simply put: " The truth [is] that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire.  The salvation of man is through love and in love.„ (Frankl, 1959).

Kirsten Toverud Severson, Ph.D., Founder and Director Emeritus

East Bay Cancer Support Group Newsletter

The Group with a Heart

     Dr. Kirsten Severson is a remarkable woman! While I had known her as the wife of Faith Lutheran Church's Pastor Dan Severson, I will always thank her for starting the East Bay Cancer Support Group. In late 1994, Kirsten called me to help her start the group. She had a lifetime commitment to helping the dying, bereaved, and people who were facing the enormous burden of fighting cancer. What struck me most was that she wanted those people and families to know that they could beat cancer and were not in this fight alone. Just three years earlier, my brother Karsten, had lost his wife Kathy to cancer at the young age of 38. I saw how he felt after his loss and wanted to do something to help others. In early 1995, Kirsten and I put together a plan to raise money for the East Bay Cancer Support Group. My earliest memory was the two of us driving throughout the East Bay doing the work to get the appropriate tax papers filed, setting up bank accounts, figuring who would best serve on the Board of Directors, and guiding Kirsten through the maze of the diverse communities of the East Bay. Not long after those early days, Kirsten had the East Bay Cancer Support Group up, running , and providing care and help to hundreds of patients and families. In 2003, I nominated Dr. Kirsten Severson to become one of the California State Assembly's Women of the Year. She accepted the award for all of the people who have benefited from the services of the East Bay Cancer Support Group. 11 years later, the Group has grown, matured, and is here to stay. During those 11 years I regret to say that I have known many women who have died of cancer few have survived. But those who had opportunity to journey with Kirsten Severson felt better for it. My only regret is that my sister in law Kathy did not have a chance to meet her.